So today I bought homemade vegan cupcakes for me and my boyfriend. Yum, right? Wrong. While they were yummy (I ate two), my boyfriend brought it to my attention that the bakers probably used hydrogenated oils, such as crisco and some vegan butters. Hydrogenated oils are the things that make you fat and clog your arteries. They’re also known as trans fats, you know, those things that stick to your ass and NEVER go away.

Personally, I could give two shits and would have eaten ten of those cupcakes if given the opprtunity. Still, I’ve noticed that a lot of people made the choice to be vegan for moral AND health reasons. It makes sense that my boyfriend avoided the potentially artery clogging cupcakes because he thinks that a healthy diet is part of the benefit of being vegan. Why stop at unhealthy animal products and not go the whole nine-yards by avoiding anything that could shorten your lifespan? My other friend, Dena, all but cringes when I eat pasta because it contains simple carbs that are everything but good for you. Also, you see books like “Skinny Bitch” by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin that promote a healthy lifestyle IN ORDER TO promote veganism. The conection between health and veganism is so obvious! So why are there fat, unhealthy, anemic, obese, cancerous, and heart diseased vegans? Same reason there were homemade vegan cupcakes: BAD FOODS TASTES GOOD!

Sure, I tell people that one of the benfits of a vegan diet is that it helps you live longer and avoid diseases, like cancer and heart disease, but I, along with a lot of other vegans, don’t always reap those benefits. I think this is becase most vegans at some point figure out how to replace the eggs and milk in baked goods with crisco, flax seeds, and nut milks. Also, we replace the cheeses with soy cheeses from Red Bamboo. Instead of eathing meats high in fat and flavor we eat Seitan and Soy Protein (both lower in fat than beef or chicken, but still very high in fat) Luckilly we didn’t even have to bat a eyelash at most chips and french fries. That stuff has always been vegan. In other words, people who enjoyed eating crappy foods before they went vegan still enjoy the same oily, sweet, deliciousnous afterwards.

So next time you see somone who has a disease, died young, or is just kind of overweight, don’t jump the gun and assume they’re cheating. Being vegan doesn’t mean giving up the grease, it means gaining new ways to make it taste good. mmmmm cupcakes….

So the other day I ate maccoroni and cheese. It was on the fly, the pot of the cheezy pasta was just sitting there not being eatin, and I figured what the heck. The sad part about this is not that I feel morally depraved, but that the mac-n-cheese wasn’t even that good, and I kept eating it. You would think that after staring at the mac-n-cheese, craving it, then eating it, I might feel less vegan, but at least I would be satisfied. No. I made the giant mistake and tore my moral fiber for powdered cheese and pasta, blech. Nonetheless, I still consinder myself a vegan.

I guess to put it in context, I was really stressed. My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago and underwent a double mastectomy 3 weeks ago. All I’ve been doing is walking my 2 dogs, and feeding my 5 cats, cleaning my house, and getting yelled at to do more. I was fed-up with responsibilities, so I wanted to fill up with MAC-N-CHEESE. I’ve been vegan since I was 18, so 2 years now, and have never consciously eaten a non-vegan meal since I altered my diet, so I’d say I’m doing pretty good.

I have to admit that under the current stresses that I’m under I have not been a “good vegan”.

exhibit A: Someone sends chocolate covered strawberries for my mom because she just came out of the hospital. There are no ingredients for the chocolate. I eat the chocolate anyway for their high level of endorphins. (who hooo chocolate induced happiness!!)

exhibit B: The Mac-n-Cheese incident

exhibit C: The only cereal in the house is Honey Bunches of Oats (which my sister eats) which contains a small amount of whey. My rationale is the following: a small amount of whey only hurts the cow a small amount…At this point I have become like the people who I cannot stand. Time for a change.

Still, in all of these cases, except for exhibit A, I went for the low quality crap that didn’t even taste good. I mean I probably should’ve at least gone to Boston Market and eaten their gooey mac-n-cheese, or eaten cereal with cow’s milk instead of eating honey bunches of oats. But also, I think that the fact that I made the my non-vegan choices on the fly says something about me. I didn’t WANT to eat dairy, I just wanted food in general, and that happend to be the only food around. It doesn’t make what I did right, but It makes it a little better than going out to Dairy Queen and ordering a milk shake. C’mon, don’t all vegans go through this…even just a little, especially when a family member or someone close has a serious medical issue.

I still haven’t gotten over the stresses of my mom having cancer, but once I started using the same excuses as vegetarians (for example: If you only eat a little milk, then it doesn’t hurt the cow as much), I knew I needed to stop sneaking dairy into my belly.

Today I walked by a bowl of cheez doodles. I didn’t eat one. You should be proud